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While I have not been able to post much lately, I've been looking at my website's stats and noticed that lots of people are coming here to simply check for new content. While I do enjoy the hits, I think it would be much easier for all of you to join me on Facebook or Twitter (using the boxes to the left over there). Join the email list (also to the left) to get an email every-time something new comes up. You'll never miss content again! Mobile users can click here for the Facebook page or here for the Twitter feed.

You won't have to check back every day, and as a bonus, people who join SanelyThinking on Facebook or Twitter will receive a link directly to my brain-stem (in the form of status updates and Tweets throughout the day). Most hilarious! 

A Kitty to make everything Square.

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The Weeks Ahead will be Dry and Barron

Dear Readers, 

I have not been posting much lately and it is not likely that there will be much new (original) content over the coming weeks. Anyone who wishes to submit content to me is still welcome but SanelyThinking originals will not be produced in the near future due to overwhelming circumstances. We will come back in a few weeks hopefully. In the mean time, I found this on the interwebs and thought you all might enjoy.

To those of you who are understanding, I thank you. To everyone else, eat shit.

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Another Apple Conspiracy - This Time it's Siri

I've talked about Apple before, a number of times (link). Sometimes bad, sometimes good, but there's always something to say. I think that's why bloggers, writers and journalists love Apple, because there's a;ways something to say about them. All out of factual Apple-related content? That's okay, just speculate! There's always something to think about where a super-secretive company like Apple. Constantly being in the public eye doesn't hurt your word-count, either.

I mentioned the links to my other Apple-related stuff because today, I too, will be speculating. About Siri *gasp*. I know it's been a while since her launch, but she hasn't crossed my mind much lately and I had my bi-monthly shower today, which is where I write this site's content.

In an article I once wrote about Siri, I mentioned how I wish she would live on my iPhone and stop having to go to Apple's servers every time I ask her a question like call mom. Then it hit me (in the shower, so it was more of a soap-related concussion). Apple could have made Siri a home on the iPhone itself and only made her go to their servers when we ask things like "how do I die a manly death?". At first I thought that Apple is just a lonely parent who's kids don't call as often as they should, so they made it so Siri had no choice but to call over 9,000 times a day. I quickly dismissed that theory, but not the part about Siri constantly going back to Apple. Read on!

The last recorded using of this option was in 2008

These days, phones use lots and lots of data. What with the emails and the iCloud and the HD porn. It certainly puts a pretty penny in the carrier's pockets and even more-so when people go over their pre-chosen data limit. I'm not here to discuss payment-plans and other such business nonsense, but what I will say is that not everyone uses the internet from their iPhone, such as old people or moms. What they would do, though, is use Siri. Tell me this Siri, tie my shoelaces, Siri. So on...

Can anyone tell me how Siri communicates with Apple's servers? Through the Internet, of-course! An internet connection some previously mentioned people wouldn't need if it weren't for Siri. See it now, people! Siri was invented only to con people into paying for an internet connection on their phone, one that otherwise would not have existed for some people. Sure, Apple isn't directly paid because of this, but the carriers are! And guess who has direct lines to the carriers. Apple! It all fits now, people. Sure, there's the option to turn the data connection off in the settings, but this is likely nothing more than a PR move.


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Sneeze, Noun: Your Annoying Room-Mate

Have you every sneezed? Probably. I did just now. Four times in a row. Four! You know how annoying that is? I'm in the middle of owning on Battlefield, or writing something, or maybe I'm just watching a movie. Doesn't matter what I'm doing, eight million fucking sneezes in a row seem to come out of no-where for the sole purpose of wasting my time!

You'll know they're coming, about four seconds before, and you'll know that for the next fifteen seconds you can't do shit. Nothing at all, but wait. What a waste of time. I got shit to do! Every time I sneeze, all I think is "fucking hurry up and get this over with so I can get back to my life!".

It's like having an annoying room-mate who disturbs you when you're trying to read Cracked or Whits Blog. Then again, you can bludgeon an annoying room mate to death with a wine bottle, so I prefer the room mate.

Even worse, are those sneezes that happen when you drive. Holy crap! What the fuck, sneeze? You tryin' ta get me killed, dog?! Speeding down the road in tonnes of glass and metal, capable of killing dozens of people isn't enough apparently, it needs to be done while having a fucking spaz attack, too! With your eyes closed, no less.

Fucking sneeze.

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The Worst Website on the Internet (Hint: it's this One)

I know what most of you are thinking, "oh great, here this guy goes again on another one of his ego trips, talking about how his website is mega-awesome and hardcore and how I will never be manly enough to have one". Well, disloyal reader, if you did happen to think such a thought, you'd be sadly mistaken. While it's true that you'll never be manly enough to own a website even half as awesome as this one, truth is, I hate this website. Hate it.

It smokes and doesn't pay his share of the rent most months. In addition, it calls me names and gets in fights with midgets after three-hour-long arguments about Star Trek. Who'd want to live with a website like that? Maybe it would be a little more bearable if it didn't use the sock on the doorknob rule in reverse. Then, when I get used to it, it uses the rule the usual way again and casually switches back a few weeks later. I tell you, that rule switching has lead to many an awkward encounter involving a pick-up truck and the reason I see a psychiatrist three times a week.

I wish I could live with one of the cool websites, like Google or Twitter or maybe even a bank website. Hell, I'd even settle for WhitsBlog (link) even though it isn't the most well known, it's better than a room mate who sleeps standing up in the shower for fear of being eaten by a sheet. I have got to start remembering to check the shower of a morning before I hop in and get down to...business.

Notice that I didn't mention that I want to live with Facebook. I wouldn't even want to meet the guy. Actually, I have had the misfortune of meeting Facebook on an occasion. Awful fellow, that Facebook. So lound and brutish. And the smell! Don't get me started on the smell. Pine fresh, he was! Pine and talcum. That might seem pleasant right now, but anyone that smells like that must have something to hide. An illegal Mexican wrangling operation in his garage, perhaps? Lord knows I didn't stick around to find out. I got the hell out of there as soon as I got a whiff of the talc. Unfortunately, SanelyThinking was my ride that night so I had to spend another hour waiting in the car while he recited the American Pledge of Allegiance over and over again while smoking twelve or thirteen bowls.

What kind of website would I live with, if I had the choice? Easy. Cracked.com. Have you seen this guy? I've never met him, but judging from this article (link) he could keep me entertained for weeks at a time. Plus I bet he smells of talcum (in a good way) and would let you know you that his criminal record only shows three liquor store robberies and a DUI, ruling out any shady, Facebook-style goings on.

Why, after all my badmouthing of this website, do I continue to create new content? Because I love to piss him off, that's why! He hates visitors and refuses to even acknowledge the existence of pants! That's why I write things. He doesn't like it. You all hate him too, which is why you keep coming back. 

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